Watching Rob take a meander through Cuthbert In The Cooler reminds me that I don’t think I’ve actually played any of the games the titular dude starred in. They’re games still burnt into my memory thanks to magazine adverts at the time but nope, not played the things.
A family friend* at the time would occasionally bring their Dragon computer round for a weekend, I can’t remember a single thing I played on it though.
Anyhoo, right. Part the reason I’m spinning you round and pointing you at this particular video of Robs is because I’m hoping someone can answer a question for me.
Like with a lot of videogame characters in the Eighties, players could follow Cuthbert across genres and in-fiction jobs.
Here’s Cuthbert doing some digging. Not in the ratio’d on Twitter sense, in the proper sense of digging a hole. Look at this:
I just want you to note that Cuthbert is clearly pretty young, probably around 14 or so (which is no age to be taking on aliens with a pickaxe but at least he remembered to wear safety gear).
Fast forward to Cuthbert In The Cooler and…
Cuthbert is now a prisoner of war in Nazi Germany after getting into another fight (in space). Look! He even has his own army uniform, including cap. You know, like kids often do. Cuthbert is nothing if not prepared.
Which leads me to the big question here. No, not what did Cuthbert do to be arrested and thrown into a concentration camp, though that is a good question. What I want to know is can we start doing this sort of thing for more modern mascots? Not necessarily thrown into a concentration camp because that’s weird and tasteless, more them taken out of their usual spaces and placed into new, more mundane, ones.
I’m thinking that bald God Of War dude could be in a game about doing the doors at a low rent nightclub, Sonic could be shaving cats at the vets, the Doom marine waiting in a queue for a back to work interview and okay, okay, let’s arrest Bubsy for crimes except you play the guard trying to throw the key away.
It goes without saying that Destiny’s Shaxx would be in their thirtieth game by now if I had my way. Shaxx Goes Skiing. Come on, you know you want to play it, Guardian.
Anyway. You can buy Rob a drink if you enjoy their video. I’ll shut up now
*Sweetly, when on a magazine rummage I found an advert from them selling up their Dragon gear in one of the final issues of Dragon User, a remarkably long time after most people had given up on the machine. The Dragon had an incredibly loyal bunch of owners who kept a slow trickle of software coming for it way past its commercial lifespan. You know, how things should be.